You may have noticed, there’s
quite a lot of road-trips or ‘hoons’
about these days. Cannon-and-ball.co.uk,
gum-drops.co.uk. you’ve seen them
around I’m sure. However, for us,
they all seem to suffer from the same two
fundamental problems.
Firstly, they only seem to attract rich,
hateful oiks, by virtue of being stupidly
expensive. Well, dubloon-hoon is not like
that. In fact, here at the Good ship Ignoramus,
it’s our only rule. We only
want fun people: people who love to drive,
sure, but people who love people and love
laughing more. Our treasure-hoon is not
for those folk who think having an expensive
car makes them interesting, we only want
people who are interesting, and who happen
to have a car. It doesn’t even need
to be fast. After all, it’s the keen
watchful pirate who plunders the most haul.
The second problem with the traditional
kind of hoon is that they are essentially
pointless. Sure, driving through beautiful
scenery is good, but the thing is, if were
honest with ourselves, even the most hardened
petrol head can get sick of this after a
few days of drinking or being stuck behind
the wheel. There comes a point, when it’s
no longer about the journey, you just want
to get there. Admit it, its not macho, but
its true.
Worse yet, since Europe is no longer the
only place you can go if you want to test
your accelerator without the fear of being
shot in the face and branded a murderer
by the police, traveling enjoyable across
great distances becomes slightly more stressful,
certainly less enjoyable. And who wants
to spend their entire time looking in their
mirrors for the police? Most especially
when you could be searching for Gold and
ultimately victory. After all, the winning
ship of pirates from each adventure gets
to compete for free next time, and gets
the honour of wearing the famed yellow-peg
leg (or tee-shirt if you’d feel more
comfortable, and unlike us, you’re
resplendent in your limb count).
Just imagine: you’ll be forced to
take in every beautiful inch of where you
are ‘cos your eye/ eyes will be peeled
looking for the next clue. Now that’s
a nice way to really drink in an experience.
You’re tempted aren’t you?
I knew you would be. Read
on... |
